TargetToad works at Hooters

Chapter 1: TargetToad has shit puns '''As TargetToad  wakes up at 1:01 am to his alarm blaring “GET UP! STAND UP! GET UP! STAND UP!” for his job at the Hooters 24.6924076127689 miles from him he exclaims “rise and shine gamers, let's get this bread.” Booty Bandit then leaps out of the bed and sings, “GOOD MORNING USA I GOT A FEELING THAT ITS GONNA BE A WONDERFUL DAY, THE SUN IN THE SKY HAS A SMILE ON ITS FACE AND HES SHINING A SALUTE TO THE AMERICAN RACE, OH BOY ITS SWELL TO SAY GOOD MORNING USA! (In a higher voice) GOOD MORNING USA!” After singing his magical waking up tune, he went on and continued his morning routine. Starting with bleaching his asshole sparkling white and then taking a real fat shit that constantly switched between explosive diarrhea and massive foot long dookies. After this anal reawakening, he got up and took a shower with his tighty whitties still on and rubber ducky firmly in hand. TargetRoad strips and jumps into the shower to get squeaky clean, he then accidentally used too much shampoo which coated the bottom of the bathtub, causing T-sizzle to slip and slide and fall, crushing his dick. Harvard then jumped out of the tub and gets an old shirt and drys his body, he then starts playing Aztec Music, while mind you still naked, he does this for an hour or two, depending on how the weather and the stock market are.  After putting on his Hooters bikini and tiny skirt, showing off just a little bit of his booty and cleavage, he goes to give his femoid a goodbye asphyxiation sesh knowing this may be the last time he lays his eyes on his fiance during this romantic moment TargetToad rips one and stinks up the joint. Once this shocking and horrific realization Jenny replies, “thats cute jessabaehe.” Chapter 2: Open Borders for all'''

'''As Booty Bandit loads his rotund tushie into his Little Tikes Cozy Coupe to take his daily motor vehicle adventure to his place of work, also known as a Hooters. He gets to the establishment and tells a co-worker a pun so shitty that the co-worker commits suicide with his last words being “ਕਿਰਪਾ ਕਰਕੇ ਮੇਰੀ ਮਦਦ ਕਰੋ ਕਿ ਮੈਂ ਖ਼ੂਨ ਵਗ ਰਿਹਾ ਹਾਂ ਅਤੇ ਮੈਂ ਮਰਨ ਜਾ ਰਿਹਾ ਹਾਂ”. TargetToad then laughs at him because of how much of a pussy he is for dying because according to T-Sizzle he is “built different”. Which is very apparent by just looking at his dump truck ass. TargetToad walks into the establishment and realizes that no one else is there and there are a lot of impatient and hangry customers. He calls up his co-worker D’Jasper Probincrux III and yell at him in a conversation I don’t wish to recount since he says SEVERAL racial epithets including the N-word with a hard R in front of small children. Cum Cannon also exclaims, “I’LL MAKE YOUR BITCH ASS ONE OF THE SIX MILLION”. TargetToad’s manager Horton makes him wait on all the tables, all your boi T-Sizzle could do was stare in awe at all the tables of hooligans, from a drunk and his two friends to a shitty kid with a bad edge up to The Prime Minister of Israel. After staring in awe at the sheer amount of assholes in the Hooters for what seemed like a few hours, which it was and many customers started to take off saying, I'm going to Kroger, the greatest grocery store in da US of A, better than that grotesque Publix. Uh disgusting. This did not please Horton and TargetToad had to serve his first customers of da day. When he said “hello, welcome to hooters, what may I get for you today?” To which a truffle in Maine Blackbears gear erupts with “PIZZA AND SOME GOD DAMN DINO NUGGETS” to which Mummy Dearest replies “I would like some alcoholic beverages and your phone number.” To which DJ Khaled retorts “some beer” and then Jessoboh replies, anything else, to which the fat fuck in the corner named Joey replies “waitress more butter” and then repeats “Another one” for a hot minute. Assmaster69 ran to the back where in lies the kitchen then made the sudden realization that he was also the cook. Booby Bandit quickly threw a DiGiorno Pizza in the oven and made some cold ass dino nuggets, he then poured some grape juice into a glass to pass it off as wine, and then he cracked a cold one and poured it into a fancy ass glass. Mildbald91 grabbed the trey of goods and walked it over to the Maine Blackbears fan zone, he then slammed it down. Jman was astonished to see that his dino nuggies were freezing and his pizza was too hot, to this he yelled, “MUMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY this lard lad got my order wrong”. Mummy Dearest then looked up and said, “MAY I SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER!” this was accompanied by a slap, as DJ Khaled slapped Mummy Dearest and said, “I’m done with this shit Mummy Dearest! I married you and created this creature over there, worst mistake of my life and now you wanna bully this man”. Mummy Dearest was then quick to reply, “He forgot his phone number!”. Then DJ Khaled looked at TargetToad and threw a punch as he said, “WHYYYY, YOU COULD’VE BEEN THE ONE TO TAKE MY WIFE AWAY!”. Then after that extravaganza, he heard the crack of a hooters chair and saw three hooligans at a table. He then galloped over and asked in a feminine voice, “HAI, my name is JESSE and I AM your server TODAY, what can I get for you three. To which one replied, “a shit ton of wings, I want to do a wing eating contest, another repeated the jargon that the previous said and another asked for some beer because he wants to get drunk while watching the Tampa Bay Storm blow a lead in Arena Bowl XXX to the Philadelphia Soul while simultaneously watching John Sabol lay the smackdown on the downtown Tampa area, where he said the infamous line of, “the winningest team in Arena Football history won’t be around next season” to which PeePee Muncher exhales through his nose;. After this exchange, PeePee Muncher was going into the back to whip up some wings for the fine young gentleman known as SKLL117, Jayhawk, and Vibe when he overhears what he perceived as two people talking at a slightly higher tone of voice then one should at a library. Once he got to observing the Kegger, he found out it was two people having a normal conversation, ya boi Booty Bandit decided to cave both their skulls in with a Waffle Iron. After breaking up the Shindig, a horrified customer called the local authorities on Cock Crook. When the popo got to the establishment. They were told about how Jessoboh ruined a box social when he caved two young children’s skulls in with a lead pipe since they were talking a little to loud as you would expect of young children that were probably under the age of 5 years old. After hearing about what TT did to break up that par-tay, the proper authorities went up to TargetToad and instead of placing TargetToad under arrest and letting the American Justice System do the work and probably send him to prison for decades for the grizzly murder of three children. They give TargetToad the nobel peace prize and let him continue his shift at Hooters. When the parents of the four dead children learned about this, they could do nothing but exclaim “Fiddlesticks”. They then tipped TargetToad a 1500% tip. They then left and decided to run their 2003 red and black buick rendezvous into a orphanage and caused untold havoc in the great state of Alaska. After this skulduggery, TargetToad went to go get the wings those fine young gentleman ordered with customers gossiping about what had taken place when Jessibih broke up a rave and caved 5 children’s skulls in with a crowbar. But the 3 lads seemed to be completely unaware because in no small part Vibe was drunk off his tits after his man crush Kevin Magnussen finished in 17th place at the Portuguese Grand Prix because he’s a fucking nerd. His buddies Sqlatypus and Captain Loggins were trying to Weekend at Burnie’s their friend who was describing exstensive gay fantasies about a Danish guy who goes vroom vroom very fast.  To take a break from such a difficult endeavor, they decide to challenge each other to an epic dash to eat as many of their mediocre, but edible wings in 47.2 seconds. Skll set a timer on his gigantic ass clock he had hanging from his nuts, the off they went. The two ate their wings like there was no tomorrow, monching and cronching and licking every piece of chicken on their bone. They were also in immense pain as they were eating Triple Dog Dare spicy wings and they didn’t have any milk because they were real men and not fucking pussies. After roughly 13 seconds Vibe decided to eat one of the blazing wangz because he was hungry and thought that it would appease Romain Grosjean and then he’d finally get to his true love. He took one bite out of the wing then he went BALISTIC. Causing several hundreds of thousands of dollars in property damage primarily by destroying the really cool shit hanging from the ceiling. He also murdered several people but honestly at this point that is inconsequential and not too out of the blue. He finally picked up his buddies and they all ran into the wall, sustaining serious concussions. Booty Bandito goes to the next table, with two gents at it, one named Juan and the other named Buba. The two men were simping for some random fucking bimbos on Tinder, TT asked them what they wanted, and they just looked at Cum Cannon and said, “lard and fried pickles”. Big Moob was astonished at the order, but went into the kitchen and prepared their order, frying up the pickles and scooping out the lard. Joey said, “Waitress more butter”. After falling asleep and leaving his hand in the fryer, TT realized he was frying pickles, and he put them in their basket and speed walked to their table and reached up as high as he could and dropped the fried pickles because he hated simping. Juan said, “Darn”. Which seemed to be an awful mishap because his dad came rushing in with a belt and loudly exclaimed in his spanish accent, “JUAN YOU BETTER KNOCK IT OFF WITH YOUR POTTY MOUTH”. And hit him with the belt, then TT said, “Sir, please hit me with the belt.” However, Mr. Juan’s dad said “No” and just left and hopped into his slick car and rode off into the sunset. All of the sudden, THE Kevin Guy walks in da buildin and says “yo”, Butt Bandit looks up at Mr. Guy and says, “What do you think was in that danish?”. TargetToad seats Mr. Guy, and walks away and won’t come back for some time. After skimping about and forgetting orders, Horton noticed the lack of TT’s presence and checked the freezer, where he found TargetRoad having a Hullabaloo and watching Breakfast at Tiffany’s. TargetToad looked back at Horton and made a vile beast noise. After which BargetBoad goes up to THE Prime Minister of Israel and a Ben the QB, who is a fucking 3rd string QB, lmao what a fucking DORK amirite folks! LMAO BRUH. Anyway ToTo asks “sup, im Dequavious Brown what can I get fo yall” in the most fakest hood accent ever. This gets recorded and posted on da Twitters to which TT gets trending on twitter and people are calling for his head cause he said a naughty word. Ben then says in a feminine voice, “man, I could go for some meatloaf” to which Bibi replies “with ketchup” to which TT replies, “yes with ketchup” as if he is some sort of fucking badass or something. When walking back to the back TargetChoad blurts out “super cali swaggalistic sexy hella dopeness”. To which Bibi yells “go fuck yourself”. After realizing that he hadn’t been yelled at by Horton for watching Breakfast at Tiffany’s on his Kyocera Echo in a few hours he decides to check Horton’s office. When he opens the door he observes Horton viewing the critically acclaimed hit youtube video Fanta Pina Colada Double Barrel Subscriber Chug by BadlandsChugs who has 2.12M subscribers and the video link can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNHIgkzEqxw. He then tells Horton “The phrase “it's just a game” is such a weak mindset. You are ok with what happened, losing, imperfection of a craft. When you stop getting angry after losing, you've lost twice. There's always something to learn, and always room for improvement, never settle.” Horton then looks up at Cock Crook hisses and then makes a vile beast noise. Booty Bandit then nudges the door shut then exclaiming “yowee wowee!” He then returns to watching Breakfast at Tiffany’s on his Garmin-Asus Garminfone. After watching the rest of Breakfast at Tiffany’s on his Motorola Backflip before Horton appears and has to confiscate TT’s phone for watching Breakfast at Tiffany’s in its entirety without him. Once this occurs cum cannon pulls out his HTC Thunderbolt and starts watching Breakfast at Tiffany’s again in its entirety while skimping on orders leading many children to starve. Horton forces TargetRoad out and your favorite Ass Pirate goes out onto the open floor in his Hooters outfit, he speed walks up to the table with the three lads, as he was walking towards this eclectic group of wing eaters, he hears a crotch goblin exclaim, “DAMMIT RANDY, YOU SPILT MY JUICE BOX!”. TargetToad says, “Pffffftt” and walks to the gents as they were watching an Icelandic soccer match, Knattspyrnufélag Reykjavíkur Vs Ungmennafélagið Fjölnir, Jayhawk said, “Go Ungmennafélagið Fjölnir”. While Vibey says, “Go Knattspyrnufélag Reykjavíkur”. After TT finishes running to da table, he stubs his toe, like really fucking bad and the toe started to bleed and there was a broken nail on the ground. Butt Bandit yells, “Yowza!”. Vibe rater says in his drunken tone, “More wings and beeeeeeeeeer”. And TargetToad says, “No”. Afterwards Vibe cries himself to sleep knowing he will never get to sleep with Kevin Magnussen. Horton says, “TargetToad what are you doing in there”.”Nothing”, says TT. “Slowride” *flush* “Take it easy” *flush*. “Slowride…”  “TARGETTOAD YOU’RE WASTING TONS OF WATER!” said Horton. Then Butt Bandit responds, “It’s not a waste, and we need a faster toilet”. “Ok Horton, lesson one for attracting a man, I want you to shave my back” says Butt Bandit. Horton replies, “Ewwww, why would I want to do that?” “Trust me Horton, shave a man’s back for him and he’ll purr like a walrus!” says TT. Reluctantly, Horton starts to shave TargetToad’s back, TargetToad makes a weird noise, “OoOoooOoooooOooooOooo”. The bathroom door creeks, TT makes a hiss, as the new worker, Fenrir, was just using the restroom before clocking in, he just backs out slowly after hearing those strange sounds and seeing that tomfoolery. Fenrir then starts making a mad dash to the exit upon seeing this Mularkey. Assmaster69 then hisses and runs after fenrir the way a honey badger runs after it’s prey. After this excursion, our hip hop homie Quad City Dawgz appears and blurts out then Quad City said with glee, “JMANATL, MY HOMIE BROMIE”. Quad City exclaimed as they ran towards each other to passionately make out, tongue and all right in front of the gang. The passionate make out sesh lasted for well over 20 minutes, almost to the point where they just fucked. But ya know, that’s child porn, and that ain’t cool. While everyone else watched. Some appreciated the love, but Buba was absolutely appalled by the display of affection, screaming “WHY CAN THESE KIDS FIND TRUE LOVE WHILE I CAN’T EVEN GET A SINGLE FEMOID TO EVEN THINK ABOUT FUCKING ME!” Juan replies, “Well, if you used the apps that I use my man, you get some nice ones, maybe a couple of them two years younger but whom cares”. All of a sudden, Joey says, “WAITRESS MORE BUTTER” and TargetToad doesn’t feel like giving more butter but does it anyways. He then roundhouse kicks Joey in the jaw. Everyone is just vibing in the restaurant until there’s a large group of Other Worldly Beings outside peeking in, Horton says “Ah shit…”. There is a faint “Spooiooiooiooioo” in the distance, again, Horton says “Ah shit…” then before you know it the door gets kicked in by none other than Mr. Boogie Woogie, along with his gang, Logo Boogie Woogie, The Backrooms Boogie Woogie, Text Boogie Woogie, Real Life Boogie Woogie, and THE Aaron Hernadez. Mind you, Canadian Boogie Woogie and Theoretical Australian Boogie Woogie were supposed to show up to this shindig, but with today’s travel bans it was impossible. Mr. Boogie Woogie floats up to Horton and says “Spooiooiooiooioo YOUR TAXES ARE DUE!”. Horton says, “Ah yes please allow me to run to the back”. He does this but runs out the back door and flees from this situation, with Fenrir gone this left TargetToad as the manager of the establishment. Also the gang of Boogie Woogies scared off all the customers, except Jayhawk, Vibe, and SKLLiam, for they have a bond with the Boogie Woogies and got invited to the Boogie Woogie Poker Night in Mr. Boogie Woogie’s Mother’s basement. Then, Mr. Boogie Woogie said, “Booty Bandit, Your taxes are due Spooiooiooiooioo”. This then causes TargetToad to flee through the back door and get chased north, and by north we mean not just north of Lutz, no no no we mean like out of Florida, but it didn’t stop there, once he got to Canada, it kept on going, they chased him for miles on end, except when they stopped to get slushies at a Petro-Canada station in Whitehorse, Yukon, Canada. The chase lead to Greenland, where Mr. Boogie Woogie said, “ENOUGH you better pay your taxes or we’ll go to your house and raid your panty drawer”, this scared TargetToad and he then gave them all his money. Now, Mr. Boogie Woogie can be a forgiving fellow, but today he decided not to be and left TargetToad to walk all the way back to Lutz, Florida. (Back in Florida) TargetToad tried to hitch a ride with Juan’s dad, but he was too busy riding off into the sunset in his kickass car. Then… TargetToad opened his door, he was then greeted by his “loving” fiance with it blurting out, “Jesseobiah! I made Liver and Onion for dinner! And I got us a Chinchilla named Morton! He eats rotten bats and d batteries!” Cock Crook then lets out a big sigh and says “Great…”. After cronching down on his liver and onions he plopped his ass down on the TV, and joined a 50YSP VC Night. However no one was there cause they were all at the Boogie Woogie Poker Night. TargetChoad then says “I lost the game”. Epilogue: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA'''